Wednesday, May 25, 2011

A Thought on Becoming a Stronger Individual by Ivor Casey

ONE of my deepest felt philosophies in which I'll always adhere to is to remember those friends who were there for you during your darkest hours and just walk away from those who appeared to be giving on one hand, but taking with the other. What this ultimately means is to, without complete devotion, simply never forget the people who expressed concern for you without any manipulation to get something in return, whether it was some superficial desire to pry into your private life for personal satisfaction or to rally support for a clique in which a hierarchy exists. What needs to be done to find a better sense of who you are is to not fall subservient to these groups. 

In times of doubt and anxiety always be careful not to trust too many people who claim to be your friend, as some will take advantage of your vulnerability. Avoid the cliques in times of sorrow as they will chew you to bits by delving into this vulnerability and extracting the information they want to toss about as gossip. Always keep in mind the individuals who were there on a personal and considerate level and who, no matter how many times you might have repeated yourself, still stood by and kept you strong as you found your path. Just walk away from those who have used your depression or personal issues for gossip and never be intimidated into believing you need a clique. Through sensitivity, depression and vulnerability people often collapse into cliques, which only prove to be a false sense of security.

When you are still maturing, finding your own sense of identity and finding your sense of place in the world it is very easy to get caught in a clique out of peer pressure and societal expectations. Those with depression and anxiety issues often sustain a deep sensitivity where they will lose a lot of self respect and self esteem. Maturity has no age limits. Maturity will only become more prevalent the more a person strengthens their confidence and the more they find their place in the world. This can manifest itself by finding other "individuals" and finally somebody who genuinely loves you. Cliques by their very nature exist to keep people thinking the same thoughts, to keep the same frame of mind and strengthen an insular world without room for growth, diversity or change. As a team, their power over others can strip the more impressionable members of original thought and individuality, by pushing ideologies and belittling individuals who have different ideas.

It can be difficult to remove yourself from this but the pressures of a clique will only have a damaging and negative impact. Those in cliques have political agendas and their foremost personalities are not of an artistic, sensitive or emotionally intelligent nature. They want everybody to stay the same to push the ideology of the hierarchy. However, human beings are not mere pawns, we are individuals who can survive with other individuals, not groups of random faces. Always remember to be an individual, for it is by being an individual you will discover who you are and not what is expected of you.

If you are ever being bullied, threatened or intimidated, don't think you are the problem for being bothered by it and don't let any assumed superiority tell you otherwise. Don't let anybody who has not shared your experiences tell you how you are to live your life. Remember that nobody has any idea what is going on in the life of another person and there is no justification to judge. Just walk away from the people who are a negative force in your life as you do not need them. And never let the cliques manipulate you into thinking you have done something wrong by "deserting". The cliques have each other but as an individual you need to save yourself. Invest your energy in those with whom you can bond to make life somewhat more productive, cheerful and positive.

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